In ancient times, they sailed up Britain’s rivers in longboats to burn and pillage.
Now the vandals sit in plush Whitehall offices, wreaking havoc among the nation’s heritage from their desks.
Their targets are museums, art galleries, sites of industrial archaeology, centres of local history – even a restored cotton spinning mill and the memorial home of the Durham Light Infantry.
Since David Cameron came to power in 2010, 44 local authority or trust-run local museums have closed. Hundreds more are shutting or are under threat from cuts.
Sharon Heal, director of the Museums Association, reveals: “Our latest survey shows 18 per cent of museums will have closed all or part of their museum within the next year. Many towns and cities face the loss of their cultural heritage for ever.”
Our island story is being lost line by line, paragraph by paragraph. Experts warn of a “North-South cultural divide” caused by Whitehall neglect. But public opinion is finally being stirred.
Outrage greeted the transfer of a priceless photographic collection to the V&A in London from the National Media Museum in Bradford.
And the museum’s annual film festival that attracted Hollywood stars has been cancelled.
Bradford’s blight is just the tip of an iceberg. In the name of “reducing the deficit”, Tory ministers are reducing vast areas to a cultural desert.
Cuts faced by councils threaten a trail of destruction from Durham to Dewsbury, from Burnley to Brixham.
London and the South East has escaped largely unscathed.
Sharon adds: “It seems money can always be found for cultural projects in London, while museums in the regions face closure as local authority finances are pushed to breaking point.”
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Lancashire is the hardest-hit county, cutting its museum spend from £1.3million to under £100,000.
Five will close next month, including the historic Queen Street Mill, at Harle Syke, near Burnley.
It featured in TV dramas Life on Mars and North and South, plus The King’s Speech movie.
Also closing is the Helmshore Mills Textile Museum. Like Queen Street, it is classed as “of national importance”.
But that won’t save them. Graham Jones, Labour MP for Hyndburn, Lancs , is behind a parliamentary petition signed by 2,000 calling for a halt to “tragic” closures.
He says: “They must be saved – now! David Cameron is guilty of cultural vandalism. Closing down our history and our heritage is heresy. It is almost treachery.
“He should be ashamed to be British. He’s not fit to be Prime Minister. Cameron is turning us into a backwater with no history and no culture.”
Lancashire County Council has suffered a £262million funding cut and can now only provide statutory services.
As a result, says Mr Jones, 40 libraries and several museums across the county will go.
The Museum of Lancashire in Preston, Fleetwood Museum and the Judges’ Lodging Museum in Lancaster are at risk.
The People’s History Museum in Manchester, which charts the rise of trade unions and is a “must visit” for any Labour leader when the party has its conference in the city, has lost a £200,000 grant.
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County councillor Marcus Johnstone is fuming that the likes of Surrey was granted £28million transitional help as the cuts take effect – but Lancashire got nothing.
He says: “Four members of the Cabinet live in Surrey. I know who is responsible. Any service we don’t have to provide by law is at risk. That includes museums, arts, libraries.
“I’m the poor unfortunate b*****d who has to implement all this. I’m hating absolutely every moment of it.
I hope people know the real culprits are the Tory government .”
Things are pretty bleak in neighbouring Yorkshire.
Kirklees Borough Council has to save £531,000, prompting fears for the Tolson Museum – dubbed “Huddersfield’s history book”.
Under threat are the Bronte-inspired Red House Museum, Bagshaw Museum – once a mill owner’s home – and Dewsbury Museum, a window into yesteryear’s childhood.
In Durham, the Light Infantry Museum in Aykley Heads shuts in April. This tribute to the famous regiment drew 39,000 visitors last year, with costs of under £400,000.
Heading south, to Eastwood, Notts, the DH Lawrence Heritage Centre, marking one of the giants of 20th century English literature, was put up for sale without warning.
Dismayed campaigners fighting to keep it open have won a £20,000 grant from the Arts Council and secured Unesco city of literature status for the former mining town.
The Snibston Discovery Park in Coalville, Leicestershire, based on an old coal mine, closed last summer after 22 years as the county council faced making £86million savings.
Local people had bought the site from the National Coal Board for £1 and £4million went on refurbishing it with science and industrial exhibits.
For those who work at the closing museums, the effect is devastating.
Jack Knight, from the Judges’ Lodging Museum in Lancaster, says: “We feel pretty bleak. They are spending £60million on a floral bridge in London.
"We’re losing bus services and libraries but at least they’ll have flowers.”
Some affluent regions are hit – like Brixham Heritage Museum, in Devon, which may shut.
In Scotland, Elgin Museum may go, while in Tenby, South Wales, the fight is on to save Swansea Museum from privatisation.
The loss of museums is compounded by huge library cuts. Some 441 branches have shut since 2010 and 149 could go.
The funding crisis has prompted suggestions museums and galleries will sell artefacts to stay open.
Northampton Council sold a 5th Dynasty Egyptian statue of the scribe Sekhemka and his wife Sitmerit for £15.6million.
It led to expulsion of the town museum from the Museums Association and withdrawal of Arts Council accreditation.
So, whichever way they turn, curators are having a tough time.
The Museums Association has launched a campaign to save our institutions. It can’t come too soon.
Before they are all history.